Stolen Maniac Machine – 30.03.13

So Easter is upon us and my second year of University is pretty much finished as my last two pieces of coursework were handed in earlier this week. All that’s left now is a minor exam in mid-May but for the coming months I will have an insane amount of free time to crack on with a load of TV series, movies and games that I’ve been meaning to do for a while. It should also give me some time to start putting up some creative stuff on here and if you swing by the blog next week I’m going to post a part of one of my short stories that will progress each week, I hope you’ll enjoy them. I also plan to enter a few competitions in the next few months and will be keeping you updated as to how that goes.

As for now it’s time for me to plough on with some House of Cards, continue my rise to greatness in FIFA and get excited for the start of Game of Thrones Season 3 tomorrow. In amongst that I hope to throw in some vibrant splashes of quality movies too and I’ll of course be keeping the reviews ticking on here. As for the reviews of the past week I kicked things off with my take on Maniac a gruesome horror remake starring Elijah Wood. CAGE RAGE season got its first cinema trip in the form of Stolen. And finally The Strokes returned with new album Comedown Machine.

In terms of stuff to get excited for there’s only one thing on everyones mind and that’s the aforementioned Game of Thrones but rather than leave you with a trailer for the new season you need to see this awesome creation that some saddo has spent a year of their life making. A year well spent to be fair:


Stolen_26My first cinema trip as part of CAGE RAGE came this week with the release of Stolen, if you not sure what the plot is watch Taken replace Neeson with Cage and make him a thief rather than a bodyguard and you’ll be on the right track. In fact just do that and then you won’t need to see the film what you imagine it to be is a tonne better than what it is.

Directed by Simon West who previously worked with Cage on Con Air, Stolen is a whole different kettle of fish. The film opens with Cage and co. robbing a bank and getting caught after being sent to jail for eight years he tries to pick things up with his estranged daughter as they were left off she’s having none of it but soon after their initial meeting she gets kidnapped by Cage’s old partner who he had shot in the foot. What ensues is a mish-mash of poorly strung together action sequences, horrendous acting and gaping plot holes. It’s incredibly hard to find any kind of redeeming feature, other than of course the fact that Cage is in it. The whole film is dumbed down for a 12A audience and it seems as everything has to be explained for viewers under the age of three to get a good idea of what’s going on, it seems the main rule of screenwriting and film-making as a whole, show-don’t-tell, is completely forgotten.

As for Cage he is on auto-pilot here, showing slightly more emotion than in Ghost Rider but not a significant amount. There are one or two moments where he loses his cool but nothing to write home about overall making this a completely wasted cinema trip, still hopefully with his next release things will get better.

CAGE RAGE rating – 2/5