The next day at school I couldn’t wait to brag about my achievements to the boys. At break time we sat on a bench just outside our classroom and I told them. Peanuts laughed at me and made fun of me first of all, “Haha, you soppy bastard,” he said which made all the others laugh. They all threw some insults at me after that and I laughed along with them. I knew they were all jealous we’d all spoken about how much we’d love to kiss Hannah Stanthorpe and I’d actually managed to do it. Well, their jealousy wasn’t going to get me down. Then Peanuts realised he wasn’t the centre of attention anymore and decided to up the ante. “Well, when are you gonna shag her then, Jase?” I didn’t really know what to say at first I hadn’t really thought of that as a possibility, I was only fifteen I thought to myself, that’s not old enough is it?
Then Chris piped up, “Yeah, Jase, surely you’re not going to waste such an opportunity?” He had a teasing smile plastered across his face. I still didn’t know how I was going to reply. Then it all of a sudden just blurted out my mouth,
“Well, obviously I’m gonna shag her. That’s what you do with your girlfriend isn’t it?” I had to appear confident, I couldn’t let them know I actually cared about Hannah, I had to give them the illusion I was just with her because she was fit. And sooner or later, yeah, I’d shag her and that’d show all of them. After I said it Chris gave me a massive pat on the back, it hurt it was so hard and I wasn’t far off turning round and smacking him in the face but I stopped myself. I regretted even telling them now but still, Hannah Stanthorpe is my girlfriend!
At lunch I decided to go and see Hannah instead of getting more stick off the boys. She kind of seemed like she’d rather be with her girls but she didn’t say anything. I think she was still just trying to figure things out about us. But we could chat for the world. I’d never had it before where I could just talk and talk and talk to a girl. She even made me laugh, which was even more weird, since when was there a girl that was fun? She’d laugh at the stuff I said too. She actually found the stupid stuff me and the boys do funny. I thought to myself she could be my best friend as well as my girlfriend, we got on so well.
I went home that day with the smile on my face well and truly back to how it was the last night. After dinner I got a text from Peanuts, he said his brother had said we could borrow his tent and go camping in the woods at the weekend. He said I should invite Hannah and some of her friends and his brother would get us some bottles of cider. We’d never done anything like this before but my brother used to do it before he turned eighteen and he always told me it was fun. Come to think of it, it had been a good few days since I wrote to Harry and he still hadn’t written back yet, hopefully it’ll get here before the end of the week.
When Saturday came excitement had got particularly high. Hannah had invited Sarah and Emily and they were all excited as well. Hannah told me she was going to try and steal some alcohol from her parents’ liquor cabinet and Peanuts was going to get his brother to get as many bottles of cider as £20 could buy, we’d all chipped in a couple of pounds. Chris came over to mine with his stuff and we spent the day playing FIFA and getting each other even more excited about the night. I’d never got drunk before but I couldn’t wait to know what it felt like. I’d told my mum I was staying over at Chris’s; I knew she wouldn’t be happy with me staying in the woods. She always used to stop Harry from going out if she knew he was planning on going to the woods. Hannah and her friends waited down the end of the road for us and texted me when they were there at the end of the road so mum wouldn’t have any suspicions.
We found a decent spot in the woods with room to put up the tent and set up a little area for the fire. We realised the tent was nowhere near big enough for us all to sleep in but it didn’t bother us all that much, we weren’t expecting to get much sleep. There were six of us all together and Peanut’s brother had managed to get six big bottles of cider, the girls had vodka from Hannah’s parent’s cupboard. The boys tried a bit and said it was disgusting so I chose not to. Then Chris revealed a bottle of coke he had in his bag so the girls mixed it with that. I finished my first bottle of cider really quickly and I started to feel strange. It was good. Things were a lot funnier than normal and I was speaking a lot more too. Peanuts was just even more crazy than normal and Chris was playing up to Peanuts like he always did. Showing off to him but they were being more stupid than usual. I always felt like I had to be someone else for them to like me as much as they liked each other. I mean, when they were on their own it was fine but when they’re together they just spur each other on to be more and more ridiculous and I end up getting sucked in.
There was a clear divide between the boys and the girls at first. I didn’t really know how to involve Hannah in our conversations and once most of the drink was finished the three of them went off into the woods giggling with each other. I was left now for the boys to intimidate some more about Hannah. “I think you should fuck her tonight, Jase.” Peanuts started with.
“Yeah, go on, Jase, take her off over there and do it. It would be amazing, you’d be a legend,” Chris chirped in as always.
“Not tonight, I can’t do it tonight. I…don’t have any condoms or anything,” that was the best excuse I could think of quickly enough. It seemed like quite a good one as well.
“Well I brought one just in case,” Peanuts said and he chucked a wrinkled wrapper at me from out of his wallet. Then I knew I was probably going to have to go through with this. I picked up the condom and put it in my pocket; I didn’t really need to say anything else.
We finished off all the cider and I’d started singing Biffy Clyro songs loudly and Peanuts and Chris were laughing at me. Then the girls came back over they were looking at us and giggling. Hannah came over and held my hand, Emily quickly rushed to sit down next to Chris and Sarah sat with Peanuts, although she looked the most unhappy to be doing so. Hannah led me off down to an open patch and we sat on a log alone together. I didn’t know what to say and it seemed like she didn’t either.
I thought about how much I wanted to kiss her but I didn’t quite have the balls to do it. Once the silence had gone on for slightly too long, I went in. She kissed me back and this time it felt so much better than last time. I even tried to put my tongue in but it made her jump so I stopped. I started feeling excited again and then I felt my phone vibrate. It was Peanuts he’d text me just saying, ‘Seal the deal.’ I knew they were going to find out if I didn’t so I decided I was going to have to try it on. We started kissing again and I put my hand on her thigh. She didn’t do anything so I took it is a sign to go further. I stroked up her thigh and my fingertips began to slide up her top and on to her belly. I could feel she was tensing it and then she stopped kissing. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” I knew now that I’d probably blown it, “sorry, I just thought that’s what I was supposed to do.”
“We’ve only been together a week, I’m only fifteen and you’re trying to touch my tit already. Now I know why people say boys are only after one thing!”
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I won’t do it again I promise,” I felt myself almost start to cry but managed to stop any tears from coming and then Hannah got up and stormed off back to the camp.
I sat there for a minute and had to really stop myself from just bursting into tears. When I went back Chris and Peanuts were giggling with each other and the three girls were all huddled together whispering and looking at me. I knew everyone knew what had happened. I sat on my own on a separate log from the boys I didn’t want to hear what they had to say. It was their fault this had happened in the first place. Harry wouldn’t have told me to do that, he would’ve told me to play it cool for a while but he hadn’t written back yet so what was I supposed to do?