Mum told me I should write you a letter since apparently I don’t contact you enough. So, here I am, writing you a letter.
Things are just as boring here as they were when you left. I’ve really liked those Biffy Clyro albums you left me. I know all the words to Blackened Sky now, Justboy’s my favourite song. It must’ve been awesome to go and see them, send me some pictures.
Actually thinking about it there is something that’s interesting. I have got a girlfriend! Her names Hannah, she’s got blonde hair and the biggest tits in the whole of year nine. I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how, maybe, I’d get to touch them one day, I know you’ve touched loads of girls! But, yeah, Hannah is awesome when you come home for Christmas you’ll meet her and hopefully you’ll be just as impressed as all the boys were at school.
Write back and let me know how uni’s going and don’t forget those tips,
I hadn’t spoken to Harry since he left and I didn’t want to let anyone know but I missed him so much you couldn’t imagine. It wasn’t Mum that told me to send him a letter I decided to do it of my own accord; this place wasn’t the same without him around. I felt much more vulnerable at school without him there to stick up for me.
I remember this one time when I’d just started at secondary school and Luke Hannigan tripped me up in the playground. I got really angry and started trying to swing for him. I got him square in the nose and he was about to punch back, he was a lot bigger than me and I wouldn’t have stood a chance. But just before he could get me Harry turned up and came to my rescue. He stood right in front of him towering over him and just said, ‘You’re going to go back to your mates and forget this ever happened or you’ll have me on your back every day for the rest of your days at this school.’ After that Luke never bothered me again and, as a matter of fact, no one ever bothered me after that day. Everyone knew that Harry had my back.
I suppose that now I’m in year ten I could look after myself. I can look after myself to the extent that I’d managed to pull Hannah. I still can’t quite get over what I’ve done; I’m going out with the hottest girl in the year. I would like us to go somewhere, get serious. I’m probably never going to get anyone better-looking in my whole life!
Things had been really shit actually since Harry left but now I’ve got Hannah I think things are finally going to get good. She’s coming round in an hour so for the first time, I better get ready, I’m actually really nervous.
She got here at about half past six and mum had cooked us fish fingers and chips. I know, right, the most romantic date meal ever. While we were eating it mum kept asking these stupid questions that even dad was getting bored by. So then he started making these terrible jokes and I felt like face planting my dinner. Luckily now it was over and me and Hannah were cuddling and watching TV in my room. The door was on the latch because mum told me I wasn’t allowed it shut with any girl round but I thought we’d be pretty safe from intrusion. The cuddling was nice, I had to hide from her the fact that I was getting over excited I don’t think she’d noticed though. She looked stunning, she’d put on this bright red lipstick and straightened her hair and she looked just like a model.
We were watching some random programme but I wasn’t paying attention I was looking at her the whole time then when a break came I decided it was time to make my move. I slouched down so I was lying face to face with her and stared right into her big blue eyes. She has the most beautiful eyelashes I’ve ever seen. There’s a part of me that wants to tell her I love her but I stop myself, I know I can’t say that yet. But she stares back at me as if she wants to tell me as well. Then I go in for the kiss. It was one of the best moments of my life. I had my eyes open so I could see her but every now and again she’d open hers and I’d have to shut mine so she didn’t think I was weird. I was getting even more excited down there, it was quite hard to hide now but I don’t think she minded anyway. That night when she left I had the biggest smile on my face. She said I looked like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. She looked pretty happy as well. That night I had the best sleep I’d had since Harry had left for uni.