An Unusual Murder, part 5

   Official Statement

Mary Winters

 I’ve been Simon’s carer for about five years now. He suffers from DID meaning he has a number of different personalities that pop out from time to time. I’ve been working with people like him since I left school, I just want to make people feel better about themselves. But Simon has always been a challenge, I’ve always got on well with Simon himself, and Charlie most of the time, but the other two don’t take too well to kindness.

There have been some scary times looking after him, it must be said. Badman doesn’t seem to understand who I am and he has tried to hurt me before, he’s never hurt me badly though. The worst time he punched me in the arm, after that they tried to take him away from me. They said I was too weak to control him if he has another outburst but I stood my ground, I don’t want to abandon him, I feel for him.

But this week things have started to get completely out of hand. Badman has somehow convinced Simon and all the other personalities that he’s killed me. They all believe it, they’ve written these statements and they all say the same thing. Sarah wrote one that really hurt me, I knew she didn’t like me but I didn’t know it was to that extent, it was horrible to read. I need to clear things up though. Simon’s statements aren’t particularly trustworthy. Simon, himself, is normally very sensible and down-to-earth but this whole thing seems to have made him lose it a bit too.

That day when we went to Tesco he was fine. We needed some tomatoes to make spaghetti Bolognese for dinner and Charlie came out for the walk. What Charlie wrote is mostly correct. As he often does Charlie started complaining of hearing the others talk in his head, it gets me a bit agitated because he moans incessantly to me so I grabbed his arm and told him, firmly, to stop. He happened to be holding a can of tomatoes which he dropped when I grabbed him. For some reason Charlie thought a woman was screaming in the next aisle, the strange thing was there was no one there. Obviously, this was made even weirder by the fact that Badman recalled a screaming woman too. It’s not unusual for Badman to make things up but for him and Charlie to make up the same thing is very unusual. I don’t  knowwhere Charlie got this idea of being in an interrogation room from, Badman has somehow convinced them all of stuff that hasn’t happened. It’s as if his disillusions have leaked over into Simon’s other alter-egos.

At the moment, sadly, Simon has been taken to a home and his psychiatrist cannot figure out where all this stuff has come from and because it could imply murderous intent he’s deemed unsafe to be out in public. I don’t understand what happened to him that day, all he did was whimper in the shop, I have no recollection of Badman even coming out but they all seem convinced that I’ve been killed. I’m hoping this stuff will all get sorted and I can have my Simon back soon.

Exactly one week after these statements were written for Simon Falmouth’s psychological report Mary Winters was found dead in an aisle in Tesco Express on Elland Road. The CCTV capture no footage of a murderer but her body was found to have stab wounds exactly the same as those reported in Badman’s statement. Simon was locked in his cell at his institution the whole time her death occurred, an investigation is underway.

An Unusual Murder, part 4

The following is filed as classified evidence for the Simon Falmouth case.

Official Statement

Simon Falmouth

     My name is Simon. That’s the name I was born with. Not Badman, not Chris, and not Sarah, my name is Simon. When I was 24 I was diagnosed with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) which means I have other people in my head. I can’t choose when they come and when they go but when they do come I’m not here anymore, they take full residence of me. All my other personalities are separate from me but we share the same body. Some of the others damage me and leave me to pick up the pieces.

Sarah likes to self-harm which causes me a lot of pain. Badman has had me in trouble with the police before he thinks he’s a drug dealer so he says stuff about doing hard drugs all the time. Once he did manage to do some cocaine and he got caught straight away. That’s why they assigned Mary to me, so she could stop them doing terrible things but there’s not much she can do really. I like Chris, he’s the one personality that I would like to keep, the other two I’d rather get rid of. Apparently, I created these identities as a way of coping with past trauma, but that doesn’t make sense to me because none of my other personalities deal with problems in a sensible way.

When someone else does something bad and doesn’t admit to it I write in my diary to ask whoever it was to own up. For example, the first time Sarah self-harmed I wrote in the book: ‘Who did this to me? This is not fair, please own up now.’ And then a day or two later Sarah came out and admitted: ‘I did it,’ she wrote, ‘it was to protect you from the memories. If I don’t have an outlet and if you want me to keep harbouring all these memories then you have to let me release the pain.’ Since then things have escalated really, the self-harming hasn’t stopped, Badman’s got more and more dangerous and even Charlie plays up when he’s with Mary.

Now, murder! I can’t believe even Badman would go this far though. And to think that he’s a part of me, I’m unaware of what he’s doing but he’s still a part of me that’s doing it, I can’t come to terms with it. I’ve been writing in the diary trying to make sense of it from what the others have got to say, but it still seems too unbelievable that I’ve done this, that a person of my own creation, a person in my own head is capable of this. Badman has lied about doing things before. He reads these newspaper stories and then will write confessions in the diary owning up to things he’s read about, like robberies and gang crimes. I just let him believe it, it never seemed worth fighting against. If I questioned whether he did those things then he might do something to try and prove that he is the hard man he’s claiming to be.

I’ve been told I’m in denial and now that this has happened I’m considered dangerously insane and I’m probably going to get put in a secure home. Like that’s any kind of life. I’m not insane though, the others might be but I’m not, I don’t have any control over them, I just don’t understand. No one understands this condition.

An Unusual Murder, part 3

The following is filed as classified evidence for the Simon Falmouth case.

Official Statement

Sarah

I’m not a fan of Mary, that bitch thinks she knows what’s best for me. To tell you the truth I fantasised about hurting her in the past. She always tells me though, ‘Violence solves nothing.’ She has no idea. I don’t want to solve anything. She doesn’t understand what I’ve been through. The others live their lives in blissful ignorance, I’m the one who has to take the pain. I just wish every once in a while I could get the pain out. But I can’t. Why don’t they try living with this baggage? Rather than complaining at me for acting out, why don’t they take some responsibility for once? Especially that fucking Mary.

People always tell me off for the scars I leave on my arm. They don’t understand that either. When the pain inside is so great it’s a relief to be able to concentrate on a lesser pain on the outside. I cut an artery once and almost died. That did shake me up a bit and I admitted to some of the stuff I’d been keeping in. I told people some of my memories, the really bad ones, the ones that haunt my dreams. The ones that Chris and the others have managed to forget. Do you want me to tell you those memories? Of course you fucking do everyone wants to know about my tortured past that’d make great reading material wouldn’t it? Well fuck you, fuck everyone. I deal with that by myself, why should it be anyone else’s business? Mary’s always poking that beak-like nose of hers into my business trying to find out what stuff’s happened to me so she can study and fix me. I’m already too far broken.

When I was younger, about fourteen, my brother showed me how to set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. Sometimes I just used to go down to the woods for hours with my magnifying glass and burn as many of them as I could. It used to make me feel calm, I was in control of everything in those moments. Nowadays I wish I had a giant magnifying glass that I could hold over Mary until I see her shrivel into a clump of black ash on the floor. Sometimes I wish someone would do the same to me. I do wish I was there to see Badman stab her though, I want to see the bitch die and I’m glad she’s gone now.

There are lots of people that think they can understand my problems. They are wrong. First of all no one who has a fully functioning mind can possibly cope with the things I’ve been through without ending up as fucked up as me and then they wouldn’t care to have to learn about other people’s issues. Another reason is that if people understood my problems they would know that I can take care of myself without fucking Mary following me around and making sure I’m not making the rest of the world feel uncomfortable. But the biggest thing that gets me is that if people understood my problems they wouldn’t spend their whole pathetic lives trying to get me to tell them stuff because they’d know how painful it all is, that’s why I know that no one understands because all anyone ever wants is to hear my story. They want to know why I’m like this. With Mary gone that’s one less person to poke around in my head.

An Unusual Murder Part 2 and an Arrested Evil Trance – 13.04.13

So we’ll kick off the update with part 2 of my short story An Unusual Murder, if you missed part 1 check it out here.

An Unusual Murder

     The following is filed as classified evidence for the Simon Falmouth case.

Official Statement

Charlie

     Mary was walking me down to Tesco. I really wanted spaghetti Bolognese for tea so she needed to get some ingredients. Spaghetti Bolognese is one of my favourite meals, if I could I would have it three times a week. We got to Tesco and I noticed there was a security guard standing just by the doors, he was a black man and he watched me as I was coming in and it made me feel quite anxious. I tried to ignore him but he kept staring so I stared back until he stopped. Then me and Mary went down the aisle where the cans of tomatoes are.

I remember feeling agitated because Mary couldn’t find the tomatoes and now I know I have a bruise on my arm and sometimes that happens because Mary holds my arm so tight and she said it was because I was being a pain because of the security guard and because she can’t find the right tomatoes. I remember one of the cans falling on the floor and spilling underneath the shelves, it looked like blood, and a woman on the other side started screaming. Screaming makes me sad. It reminds me of being scared when I got lost in the woods once and Mary couldn’t find me and I couldn’t find Mary and I saw strangers around and strangers always scare me and I panicked that time but that was years ago and I’m not supposed to feel scared anymore because I’m a grown man and people won’t try to kidnap me. But sometimes I still do get scared of strangers being around.

The police asked me to write this statement so they could get a clearer idea of some ‘very horrific events’ that happened but I’m really struggling to remember anything that happened. Mary says that I can’t remember things sometimes because I’m a different person and that’s why she looks after me so that I don’t do anything dangerous but I would never do anything dangerous so that makes me sad that she thinks I could. I just don’t really understand. I hope this helps the police get a clearer picture and I hope that I don’t have to go back into that interrogation room again. It was scary and I felt like the policemen didn’t understand what I was saying to them.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Part 3 will be up next week, let me know what you think in the comments box below.

So to this week has been media filled would be an understatement, I’ve been catching up on a large number of games, TV Shows and so on. The ones I chosen to review though are Danny Boyle’s latest film Trance, the latest instalment in the Resident Evil franchise, Resi 6 and finally soon-to-be-revived sitcom Arrested Development. Any comments or feedback on any of my review is greatly appreciated too.

Finally I’ll leave you with another trailer for the movie I’m planning to watch this week, who knows what to expect of it but check back here later on in the week for my opinion, here’s Spring Breakers:

Cage, Metal, Spacey and Something from Me – 06.04.13

Hello and welcome to my first weekly update in which I plan to showcase some of my creative writing. Today I’m going to give you the first part of a short story I wrote this semester for one of my units, any feedback you may have on it would be greatly appreciated or if you love it then come back next week for part two:

An Unusual Murder: Part 1

     The following is filed as classified evidence for the Simon Falmouth case.

Official Statement

Badman

     I was in Tesco looking for some food. Sometimes I forget things that have happened because I take a lot of drugs and then I just end up places. Most of the time they’re places I want to go but sometimes I end up in some weird shit holes. A lot of people have told me I’ve got a mental illness but it’s bullshit. They just can’t handle the fact that I’m harder than them. The police have asked me to write this statement so they can find out what happened when I was in Tesco this time yesterday and what happened when this mad shit went down. I’m going to write the complete truth because Badman doesn’t talk shit, Badman tells the truth and I ain’t gonna hide what I did because I don’t care what anyone thinks.

I can’t remember what I was looking for, tomatoes or something, and this woman, Mary who’s always around, was holding my arm and I don’t know why, she must be in love with me or something but she’s always there wherever I go and I wish she’d piss off. She was holding my arm really tight so I grabbed hers and pulled it off me. There was a woman screaming in the next aisle, I have no idea why and the security guard was coming over. Mary started shouting, ‘Charlie, stop it,’ at me and it made me angry, my name is not Charlie and it was pissing me off, so I hit her in the face and she fell over. It looked like she was crying but I don’t give a shit, she follows me all over the place and no man should have to put up with that. I got in a rage, the woman in the next aisle kept screaming and it was grating on me so I pulled my pen knife from my pocket. The pen knife is my signature weapon on the street, I’ve got in fights with it before that’s how I got these scars on my arms. I took the knife and crouched over Mary, I flicked out the blade and pointed it into her neck just next to her throat, I pierced the skin and ripped across, blood poured everywhere.

After that the fucking idiot security guard came over and started hitting me with a baton and it made me even more angry so I turned round and stabbed him in the stomach, the woman in the next aisle saw and started screaming even more. I ran towards the door but they were locking the place down, the shutters were too low for me to squeeze under, they were idiots I was ready to stab everyone in there but then I passed out, it must have been the drugs again.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Next week things the events that took place should become clearer with the second statement. So this week has been the first of the Easter holidays for me and it has meant being able to catch up on a load of TV series, reading and games that I’ve been meaning to get on to for ages so it’s nice to get them done. My first review this week was a continuation of Cage Rage season with my review of Racing with the Moon, then I got round to finishing off House of Cards. And finally I thought you all might like to know about an awesome band I discovered in the form of Kvelertak. To round it all off I’m going to leave you with a trailer for the film I watched today, Danny Boyle’s Trance, keep reading the blog for a review later this week: